Self-Reflection

Back in my childhood I was taught to self reflect
and self reflect I did
and yet when I told them how I see myself, honestly
they said I look nothing like how I describe me to be

some said I sell myself too short
others told I sugar-coat the truth
and so every next time I recounted
a different painted version of myself, over and over again
hoping, praying that I somehow land upon the true me!

The others definitely see clearly
and well thus letting them teach me who to be
convinced, my eyes are not to be trusted coz all they do is lie!

So what is this reflection that I stumbled upon..
why does it feel like a deja vu
do I not want to paint myself anymore
or have I finally run out of fresh ideas?
as if the mirror has stopped being a canvas 
starting to reflect the past again
and staring at it right now I wonder
what my present reflection looks like?

and for once I truly want to keep it to myself

is it just a silly childish wish to keep an illusion
in a world that boasts of truth
or have I finally became an adult in a world full of illusions?

P.S. 

Images used does not belong to me. Used solely for aesthetic purpose, courtesy google search.

Credit to the actual owner. No copyright infringement intended.